Just Passing By...

Well, I'm just passing by...

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Everything was well again in the castle. The queen's wrath had been subdued. And the prince had handled it without any bloodletting.

Thank God for the miracle of the telephone (Alexander Graham Bell, wherever you are, thank you so much).

In a higher state of consciousness, I wish that there was where I was right now. But I wasn't there. I was in a web network called Kaskus. But I could make the place my higher state of consciousness, if I prefer it. If I will it. Alas, my will had not been itself lately. My will had lost its strength. No more yearning to live, no more ambitions in life. I have probably arrived at that point where doing anything more in life doesn't mean anything anymore.

Hopefully not, I'm too young to feel such a thing.

But then again, what was the point of attaining more in this life when one realizes that ashes to ashes and dust to dust really means ashes to ashes and dust to dust? When somehow, in one's heart, one knows that in the end, it won't matter.

So, what does matter in life.

All I could think right now was my friend's villa in Puncak, a beautiful getaway from the busy life of a metropolitan city that is Jakarta. Front door made of glass, if one wakes up in the morning if one sleeps in the living room, one would find a magnificent, open view of the mountain in the distance. I yearn to return there. I yearn to trek the hiking track. I yearn to just sit at the tea plantation and drink in the view of the mountain in front of me. Some people have their addiction. Alcohol, tobacco, drugs. Mine is my eyes and ears. For the view around me, be it beautiful or utterly evil and shattered, is the one that got me addicted. God forbid that I would one day lose my eyesight. And music, how could one explain music? It's one of the greates addiction in life.

Once, a long time ago, it was said that life began with a song.

But for me right now, there was no frequency, no amplitude. Just a flat line. I'm dead, and I'm waiting to be resurected. To become alive again. To vibrate again. To sing again and drink the view that is abound all around me.

Well, that's it for now.

(Written on Monday, April 10th 2004)

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