It's My Birthday!! Yay!!

Well, I'm back in Jakarta again. Jakarta and its hectic pace of living. Jakarta and its traffic jam. Jakarta and its night life. Jakarta and my friends.

And it's also my birthday. My passing the thesis hearing made for a very good birthday present. And staying in Jogja for more than a week was a badly needed holiday. In that case, any chance of leaving Jakarta for awhile that I could get my hands on, I'll take it. And it was worth it, as always.

I love my birthday. Especially when friends remember it. All those sms and e-mails and phone calls, make me feel like all the attention is on me. Me and my narcissistic tendencies, huh? Whatever, I know I feel happy (if it is happiness). Let's just keep it at that.

Guess I could only hope that things stay the same in the coming years (small chance at that, knowing how life keeps throwing shit at you).

So, is it all sunshine today? (12 minutes before my birthday's over)

Guess not. I still remember that I turned down a chance to go to Solo to meet up with my stepdad there. To try and get to know him better. To be on speaking term with him. To try and give him a chance to prove himself. He's giving a seminar/training there. He wanted me to go and meet him there. I cancelled.

Why?

Maybe because I was so damn tired that the thought of taking a taxi or a train from Jogja to Solo was such a bother.

Maybe because my stepfather's not a fun person to be with, because he's all serious and shit.

Maybe because my stepfather's planning on taking me to Semarang and Banjarnegara (his hometown) and I just didn't feel like it. Especially meeting up with his siblings. Not exactly a prospect I'm looking forward to.

Maybe because I just want to spend my birthday in Jakarta with my friends.

Maybe I don't wanna spend more money for travelling expenses (but it's not my money anyway)

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

I'm just scared of giving him my trust and getting hurt again in the end.

My father called me earlier today. He told me happy birthday and ask whether I'm free on Friday. He asked me to go to lunch with him and asked where to pick me up. He asked me to confirm the place.

Another thing I'm not exactly looking forward to.

But I know I gotta make my peace with these individuals. Soon, before they die of old age. Because I know I'm going to regret it if I don't make peace with them. If I don't try and give them a chance to prove themselves. If I don't give a chance for myself to get to know these people and try to forgive them. Because I know I'm no better than them. Becasuse one day, I'll be in their shoes.

Karma, I guess.

So, my birthday was great (it's 0:08, December 15th, not my birthday anymore shucks). I'm reminded that I still have great friends (with or without benefits he he he) in the present and that it's all I have for now and that it's enough. Guys, thanks for all the sms and e-mails and the phone calls.

I still have my parents, though they're not perfect (mom, thanks for all the love and the money too hahaha c'mon I'm just joking mom, ya know I love ya dearly). Oh yeah, thanks for the things you brought for me from Singapore.

I have a new academic degree (makes my name longer, at the VERY least).

I had more than I could handle for my dinner (bro, sorry if I only ate half of that noodle that you bought, not that I didn't appreciate it, my tummy's too full for it).

I have two bastards for fathers but hey, I'm a bastard myself so who am I to judge them eh?

I'm still single and enjoying it (but it gets kinda lonely at times).

And I have a twisted life story that maybe one day I could exploit for personal benefit he he he.

In any case, happy birthday to me. May karma hit me one day and teach me humility, if there's such a thing.