Rain

The days are empty. My life feels like it's a vast void, deprived of anything significant.

Have you ever felt like there's a hollow in your soul? A hole so big that it sucks every essence of yourself into it?

Have you ever felt like you've got no purpose in this life?

Yeah, I'm depressed. Again.

Well, here's a few definitions of the word 'depressed'

From WordNet (r) 2.0 :


depressed
adj 1: lower than previously; "the market is depressed"; "prices
are down" [syn: down(p)]
2: flattened downward as if pressed from above or flattened
along the dorsal and ventral surfaces
3: low in spirits; "lonely and blue in a strange city";
"depressed by the loss of his job"; "a dispirited and
resigned expression on her face"; "downcast after his
defeat"; "feeling discouraged and downhearted" [syn: blue,
dispirited, down(p), downcast, downhearted, down
in the mouth, low, low-spirited]
4: having the central portion lower than the margin; "a
depressed pustule" [syn: indented]

Of course, I'm talking about definition number three. Talking about definition number one would be talking about my thesis. Well, not exactly, but it would come close to that ha ha ha.

'Lonely and blue in a strange city'. Blue's kinda my color, ya know? I've always loved blue. It's one of my favourite color. Blue jeans, blue polo shirt, blue t-shirt. Black's also my color. But let's not stray from the subject, right? We're talkin' bout feeling blue here, not black ha ha.

Or maybe I haven't been eating right, or that I'm having hormonal imbalances.

Or maybe I don't like waiting to hear from my lecturer about my thesis.

I'm talking nonsense here, jumping from one thing to another. It may be depression, it may be something else. Or even a couple of things put together.

I don't know.

All I know is that I thought it would rain today. It didn't. The sky was gray this afternoon. The wind blew stronger than usual. There was a smell in the air, the smell of dust mixed with water. And for awhile I thought rain was coming.

It didn't.

Well, rain might do me good. A bit. I love rain.

Hey, why don't I sing a song about the rain?

Raindrops are fallin' on my head
And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed
Nothin' seems to fit
Those raindrops are falin' on my head
And they keep fallin'

So I just did me some talkin' to the sun
And I said I didn't like the way he got things done
He's sleepin' on the job
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head
And they keep fallin'

But there's one thing I know
The blues they send to greet me
Won't defeat me
It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me
'Cause
I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free, nothin's worryin' me

It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me
'Cause
I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free, nothin's worryin' me...

(just you know, I like B. J. Thomas' version he he he)

So yeah, it didn't rain. But still, it would have been nice if it had.

Hell, I'm feeling a bit better actually.