Just Passing By...

Well, I'm just passing by...

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Just Chillin....(not really)

So here I am, in front of my computer (as always). Went to the campus to get my proposal. Turned out my proposal hasn't arrived yet. Hopefully by tomorrow it will have. The woman was at the campus today. She tried calling me twice earlier when I was in that condition where dreamworld and realworld blend into one. She sent me a message too. I ignored her. Looks like I still haven't gotten around to trusting her. Too many fishy things about this woman. But there she was when I was just about to go home, walking out of the toilet while I was walking out of the computer lab. I wish I could disappear, but I'm no magician.

So, caught in a situation where I just couldn't avoid her, I just walked up to her. She asked why I didn't answered her call. I told her I was still sleeping. Not entirely true, but not a complete and utter lie (just soothing my conscience a bit here). I asked her what the calls were about and she said it was about a lecture subject that she wanted my help for. She wanted my help translating some materials. Seeing that there's no way I could say otherwise, I agreed.

I tried not talking to her, and everytime she asked why I was so quiet and serious, I just said that I was concentrating. It was brief, the translation was easy and I'm done in only about half an hour. Said my goodbye (albeit hurrily) and went home by train.

It ain't easy, not trusting someone. If people say that trusting someone is hard, I'd say that NOT trusting someone is just as hard. It sort of put a strain in your inner self where you're trying not to let yourself fall for the same thing again: trusting someone. Trust, such a sensitive word, eh? Hopefully in time, I could learn to trust anyone, trust that no matter what happen, they're still humans who make mistakes and that no matter what happens I will always be okay. Easy to say, but trust me (pun intended), it's really hard to do.

I'm going out again today (hopefully) with some good friends. Hopefully we could catch a movie. I fell that the more I go outside the house, the better. This little room of mine is a bit confining most of the time lately.

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