Be Aware

Book Review and Recommendation
Awareness by Osho and
How to Live on 24 Hours a Day by Arnold Bennett

I don't usually usually do review for two books at the same time, but since these two books are very much alike in their purpose, I would like to put them together in one review.

On to the review.

Who was Osho? Well, from what I've read in his book titled 'Awareness', I would say that he was a spiritualist. But if you would like to know a short history about him you could go googling, or just go to this web address: http://www.religioustolerance.org/rajneesh.htm. There you could read a bit about him.

To tell the truth, reading 'Awareness' wasn't exactly an entertaining affair for me. I was reminded constantly that some or maybe all the things that I've known in my life are probably not 'real'. That the 'reality' that we know might just be our mind playing tricks with our souls. How would you feel if all the knowledge, the science, the education you receive all your life will never be enough for our soul's salvation? That to attain 'nirvana', that blissful place, that peaceful state (or, most of us would simply put it in a more simple term: happiness) one simply have to embark on simple activities, such as 'watch' one's breathing?

But, 'watching' one's breathing turns out to be a very complicated matter. Our minds are very talented escape artists, they could escape even from the most complicated confinements of concentration. Buddha (or one of those 'enlightened' souls, I could not recall) once said that if one could watch one's breathing for 48 minutes (did Buddha know the concept of one minute, anyways?), one could become enlightened. But Osho said that these days, it is good enough if one could watch one's breathing for even 48 seconds. Having a very imaginative and worrisome mind, I couldn't agree more with him.

While reading 'Awareness', I couldn't help but to think that on the pages of the book, Osho kept saying one and the same thing, only in different words. He kept saying that people should be 'aware'. That people should not put themselves on the arduous task of being 'good' and avoiding being 'bad'. Be aware and goodness will follow, so he said.

Starting and finishing the book is like coming to a full circle.

For those who think that their lives are on the right track, reading this book might make them think again. For those who think that there's something wrong in their lives, this book would probably bring comfort to them. In any case, it's only a matter of perspectives. Indeed, this book IS about a matter of perspectives.

Now, moving on to Arnold Bennett. From what I gather, Bennett was a novelist (he died in 1931). To read a short history about him, please go googling or you could go to this web address: http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/Jbennett.htm.

'How to Live on 24 Hours a Day' gives you many examples of how you could use the time you have on your hands to the betterment of the soul. Though more practical, in the end I could say that its purpose is of the same nature as Osho's. However, Bennett presented the case in a very humorous (in the British sense, that is) and entertaining manner. In other words, going through the book was a breeze. And it is quite a short book.

It might be inappropriate to call Bennett as an 'enlightened one', but he's got some simple common sense in him. His advices are more to the practical side of things. Some simple common sense that we may easily overlook in our lives, due to one thing or another.

You could, of course, say that there's no relation between being aware and managing time. At first glance, this might be true. But after reading both books, I dare say that both books could bring a reader to a similar understanding, and to go even further, a very similar result. Then again, this is only a matter of perspectives.

In the end, I would like to say that these two books compliment each other. The first one is more to the abstract side of things, while the second one is more to the practical side of things. And both have almost the same message: 'Don't waste the time you have in your life. Seize the moment.'

note: I found Osho's awareness in QB bookstore at Plaza Senayan. I don't know whether they still have more copies, since the one I got was the last one they put on the stand. As for Arnold Bennett's 'How to Live on 24 Hours a Day', one could get it for free at www.gutenberg.org in the form of an e-book (*.txt file).

Who Am I?

I am...

A klutz. I bump into things accidentally all the time. Twice I bump my head into the corner of hard objects. One was an air conditioner (while I was still a baby, about 1 or 2 years old) and the other was my mother's bedroom door (I think I was four). Both incident rewarded me with some stitches in my head. I have some marks on my knees from falling too often while I was still in elementary school.

That changed a bit though. Growing up probably made my body movement coordination a little bit better. A good friend of mine taught me how to walk (he also taught a lot of things besides that). I slumped. Now, I still slump at times, but not as bad as it used to.

I like dancing. Well, I like watching people dance, to be exact. I myself can't dance. Tried Salsa once, it was very interesting (I guess it was because of that my interest in dance grew). But I doubt that I still remember the steps. If there's time, I would like to continue learning it again. I would also like to learn Tango. I guess the movie 'Scent of a Woman' inspired me in that department.

I can't stay in one place for too long. I'd be bored silly. I like to walk around, keep my body moving. Lately I've been quite self-conscious in the way I walk. My feet stray at times. It would be nice if I could keep them in a straight line whenever I'm walking. So, I've been working on that.

I like to have a big personal space around me whenever I want to be alone. The size of my body and my gestures required a large space. Maybe this is so for many men. I once read a sociology book saying that men's use of space is a sign of power, control. In any case, this has resulted into my elbows bumping into things. Having a crowded house doesn't help either. Lots of things fall down whenever I move in my house.

I have 'itchy' fingers. I like to play with pen caps, hearing the clicking sound whenever I put on and take off the caps. One of my feet jitters whenever I sit down. Well, I guess I just want to point out that I couldn't sit tight and be calm for a long time.

Well, that's part of who I am. More to come...

Thank God for Indivision...

...Local TV stations suck.

Defiant

Graduation Day (by Kanye West)

I'm no longer confused but don't tell anybody.
I'm about to break the rules but don't tell anybody.
I got something better than school but don't tell anybody.
My momma would kill me but don't tell anybody.
She wants me to get a good ass job just like everybody.
She ain't walked in my shoes I'm just not everybody.

Revelations

You know, it was like one of those sobering moments, the ones that make you realize something about yourself. And it hit hard, pretty hard.

One could only hurt oneself if one put one's well being in the hands of others. And one's well being should not depend on others. It's one's to nurture, it's in one's control. The decision to be content is in one's hands. Something that I gotta learn how to do better.

Simple isn't it? A simple truth. But hard to accept. Maybe all I need is to surrender. Just let it all go. Come to think of it, I don't really have anything in this world but myself.

You reap what you sow. There you go. Probably a bad fruit or two are bound to come out once in awhile. All I gotta do is not eat them.

Prowling The Grounds of Ancient Greek

Game Review
God of War (for the PlayStation2)
By Sony Computer Entertainment
Developed by SCE Studio Santa Monica

Games of excellent quality are hard to come by. And so God of War took me by surprise. I wasn't expecting the game to be that good, but after reading several game reviews (Gamespot, who's usually quite stingy in giving game scores in reviews, gave it a 9.3, an unusual thing) saying that this game is outstanding, I became quite intrigued. So, after getting a copy, I sat down in my room, inserted the DVD disc into my PlayStation2 console, and started playing. And time flies by without my realizing it. Those reviews were quite right. This game is outstanding.

The game opens up with Kratos, the main anti-hero, standing before a very high cliff, uttering the words: "The gods of Olympus have abandoned me." With that, he jumps, and descends into a watery death...or so it seems. Along the way, the narrator opens up by saying that Kratos was the champions of the gods, that things seem dire for him for the moment (nothing could be more dire than someone jumping to his death from the highest cliff in the world) but that it has not always been so. Flashback to three weeks earlier, player finds Kratos on the bow of a ship on the Aegean Sea, facing a hoard of undead soldiers and screaming "Foul creatures! I will send you to the depth of Hades!", and so the real game begins.

To sum it up, Kratos is on a mission to kill Ares, the God of War. Why? Because he has the other gods backing him up and ultimately, he's got a vengeance to settle with Ares. So, as the reader might have guessed, this game's background is set based on Greek mythology. The levels' architecture, the character designs, the soundtrack, they all spell out Greek.

What makes this game so excellent? First of all, it's the gameplay. SCE Studio Santa Monica has done it right, creating a gameplay that is so smooth and fluid. Every move that Kratos has in his arsenal can be executed with ease. And to accompany this, they have created animations that are also smooth and fluid (except for Kratos' double jump, which could have benefitted from a bit more work). There are a lot of possible combinations of moves, and the transition between the moves are so fluid and natural, and what's more, they're easy to execute. Granted, Devil May Cry 3 may have a lot more possible combinations of moves and combos (but quite an equal amount of bad-ass style, in my opinion) but for some reason, God of War is more...solid, robust. It was fun too, playing the mini-games that pop up whenever you've damaged an enemy severely (usually this apply to those lumbering, mid and large-size enemies) where you have to tap the correct buttons according to the display on the screen or mash a certain button repeatedly. They may get quite repetitious after some time, but well, personally there's some sense of satisfaction in jamming a blade down a minotaur's throat (especially if the aforementioned minotaur just took off a big portion of your life bar).

So, what does Kratos have in his arsenal? His main weapon is the Blade of Chaos, a pair of blades chained to his arms so that he could swing it around in any manner he likes. It has a long range and quite powerful, especially when you have upgraded it to higher levels. You will be using this weapon for the most part of the game. What's Greek mythology without some godly magic? Gods of Olympus will bestow magics to Kratos during the course of the game. These magics will help Kratos in tight situations. Granted that more variety in magic is desirable. But they are enough to help him in his quest and to keep things interesting.

The enemies themselves are quite diverse, ranging from the hoard of undead soldiers, the nimble and agile harpies, the lithe and slithering gorgons, to huge, lumbering cyclops and minotaurs. Well, the game IS based on Greek mythology, so expect a lot of Greek monsters and other kinds of Greek ugliness. These monsters attack relentlessly, so Kratos must always be on his guard. Blocking and evading are a must during the course of the game.

And the puzzles...well, people have differing opinions about the puzzles. As for me, I found them to be quite intelligent. Not too hard to figure out, but quite clever. There's even a part of the game where you have to rotate a temple to solve a puzzle. Intriguing. In any case, the game has managed to create a good balance between the hack-and-slash part and the puzzle part.

Yes, the game could get very gory (they rated this game M, by the way). And this happens most of the time in the game. There's a lot of blood spilled, a lot of ripped-off mythological creatures' limbs flying in every direction, and a lot of bared breasts. There's even a sex 'sequence' mini-game where you have to tap buttons and rotate analog sticks. Interesting, isn't it? Well, stay away if you don't like blood and gore. But you'll be missing a very good game.

The game's designs are also outstanding. It could be said that the architectures found in the surroundings, be it the buildings, the temples, the statues, the mountains, the cliffs, everything has been crafted in mythological proportion. For those who are into movies, think Lord of the Ring trilogy. And to help emphasize this, the programmer has managed to design camera angles that could elevate the level of grandness of the game's many structures into soaring heights. Case in point: there's a part in the game where you're walking up a grand stairway into Athens, the camera's perspective is behind Kratos, near his feet, looking up at the top of the stairs. The view beyond the grand stairway is obstructed by banners flying in the wind. As you reach the top, the camera shifts and moves forward beyond Kratos to reveal a platform with view of the city of Athens from above and mountains in the horizon, with the god of war in his giant form in the distance laying siege to the city. Arrows are flying everywhere (most were aimed toward Ares) while Ares himself is hurling fireballs and scooping up buildings from the ground as if they're toy houses. Above Ares' head, clouds are swirling, a sign of Ares' magnificence. I know my words are not enough to describe the atmosphere, so play the game and you'll know what I mean.

And to even lift the game's mood into the stratosphere, SCE Studio Santa Monica has composed a set of soundtrack worthy of A-list movies. The soundtrack, together with the camera angle, has succesfully created an atmosphere of Greek mythology, with orchestras and choirs singing songs that help form a level grandness usually invoked when one thinks of Greek mythology, and the camera angles helping to emphasize the sense of grandness. Well, once again, think of The Lord of the Ring. Another case in point: there's a sequence where Kratos is walking up to the statue of Athena holding a sword, and the sword is used as a bridge for Kratos to walk on. The camera's view is from Kratos' lower right, looking at him from the lower right, Kratos filling the left side of the screen, while in the distance, on the right side of the screen, the statue of Athena in all its grandness, stood before Kratos, filling the right side of the screen. All this while an orchestra is playing. Once again, play the game and you'll know what I mean.

From the technical point of view, SCE Studio Santa Monica has been quite successful in creating an in-game engine that's quite solid. It gives the game a sense of integrity. There's almost no loading screen (only when you're loading your save game) between stages, making it feels like the game is composed of only one very huge stage. Well, actually, there are loadings, but it occurs in the background. The programmers has cleverly hidden the loading instances. So, when you're walking in a narrow hall with a lot of twist and turns, you can bet that that's when the game is loading the next huge hall or area that you'll be coming across. The architectures themselves are quite clever. You'll be coming back to places you've traverse before through other passages and you'll be saying a lot of things like, "So THIS is where this passage/hall/cave leads to!" It's like backtracking, but through different routes.

Well, once you've finished the game, there's nothing much to go back to. The difference in each difficulty level lies only in how much life is taken off from our anti-hero everytime an enemy lands a blow on him. There's no difference in AI aggressiveness, patterns, or anything else. And from the way I see it, even though it's a very outstanding game, I couldn't help but to feel that this game is not long enough. I finished it within 8 hours of playing on Hard (Spartan) difficulty. And I couldn't help but think that there aren't enough levels to play in. Granted that the programmers have done a great job in creating the stages and to craft their intricate designs and its many passageways, but I think that they could have done more in terms of quantity. But heck, even the ones that are available are huge enough, with a lot of beautiful details in them. So, it's only a minor complain. In another word, I just couldn't get enough. Well, this game was finished under a deadline, so there are things that has been cut out in the final game. Even with that, it's still an oustanding game. I demand a sequel! And it's better be good! I give this game 9 out of 10.

Death

I noticed that the sky was very blue today. I saw it during my commute to the office, I was seeing it from the office's window even as I was writing this. There's a certain peace to it, as if all the cares in the world don't matter anymore. I loved the blue sky this day. It soothed my mind. There was almost no hint of cloud anywhere I looked. It was peaceful, and my mind was at ease.

Then again, it might be because of the sedative I took the night before. It helped lessen the annoying voices and howlings of my mind and its many thoughts.

Wow, can't believe I'm on drugs.

Still, it was quite a nice change, looking at the blue sky after all the cloudy days before it. I sure hope that it was a sign of change. A change to better days ahead. I need all the good signs to help me go through the boring days at the office, at least until the project starts. I hope that by then things would be getting heluva lot more interesting.

Like the blue sky, I was thinking that probably death has a certain peace to it. A certain finality to it, a certain inevitability. Your life is about to end, all the worries you ever had don't even matter anymore. It's as if nothing in the world matters anymore. The world doesn't matter anymore.

I was facing death right now. The death of my character, my personality, my memories, the things that I used to know, the (oncoming) death of a dear (almost) family member. And, as always, a person usually goes through some stages when faced with death. I don't know exactly what stages they are and in what order the sequence is, but I'm thinking I'm between denial and acceptance right now. And the transition is hard.

Well, thanks to the sedative, I could at least still noticed the blue sky this morning. Or maybe it was not because of the sedative. Maybe because the sky was very clear, very blue, that one could not help but notice it. Such a simple thing, the blue sky. Yet so soothing. In any case, death will come to pass and after that the advent of resurrection. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes. I am sure of it. As sure as the sky is blue (only on clear, cloudless day that is).