What Do You Call A Dead Dog and An Autist?

Book review
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
by Mark Haddon

Right after I finished reading this book, I felt that there was nothing special about it. It felt like a not-so-simple journal, written by a 15-year-old autistic named Cristopher. He is the main character in the book, and the only person whose point of view the reader is looking through. In it he described the world through as he sees it through his eyes, and often he describes it in pictures and drawings instead of words. Personally, I think that a novel that uses a lot of pictures as means to describe things are not such a good novel. Then again, this is a journal of an autistic boy. So, maybe I should make an exception in this case.

Christopher is a simple-minded 15-year-old. Simple, maybe because he's an autistic (and I'm not). He doesn't like the colors brown and yellow. He loves mathematics and physics, and he always tries to deconstruct life into mathematical and physical law. And Christopher loves animals. So, when on one night he found Wellington, a neighbour's dog, dead, impaled by a pitch-fork, he decided to use his logical skill to play detective and try to find out who killed it (driven by his love of puzzles and of Sherlock Holmes). Playing a detective for an autistic is not an easy task, as this book will show readers. Some of the problems Cristopher will face are facing strangers, deciphering emotions, and handling an overload of information. Things that most normal humans are adept to, but a struggle for autistics to do in their lives (at least that's what I think and what I've heard, since I'm not an autistic).

As a book, at first I find that there's nothing extraordinary in matters concerning complexity in writing technique. There's a lot of details alright, since the character Cristopher likes to put many little details into his 'journal'. And the descriptions are nothing out of the ordinary. This is okay, even though I find that many of these details and descriptions aren't necessary to the storyline. But later I think that that's not the point, since Haddon's point seems to be about trying to present a world view from an autistic's eyes and mind. And this is where he succeeded.

As I've mentioned before, Cristopher's point of view is quite simple and logical. He believes that life could be represented by mathematical and physical equations. The character is not very good at describing emotions, subtlety and nuances, matters that could not be symbolized by equations and logics. Even though Cristopher could not grasp these, the readers however, can. And this is the hidden treasure, the true power of the book (and my early frustration with the character when I started reading the book). It is not the things that are being said by Cristopher that will intrigue the readers, it is the things that are unsaid. It is the things that Cristopher fails to grasp that the readers will appreciate. The stuff where the readers have to read between the lines.

By the end of this book, readers will find that there's more to this book than just finding a dead dog in the middle of the night. And with this, I would like to correct my comment about finding this book to be nothing special. For those who would like to find out about how an autistic sees the world, read this book. You will appreciate them more. As I have.

It's High

"On A High" by Duncan Sheik

I'm on a high, I'm on a high
there's nothing more to it.
We are the sea and the sky
and the blue that runs through it, yeah.

and there are some who say there are so many things I need
so I run or I fight and I crawl or I scream and I bleed
I bleed, I bleed

well, it's a lie it's a lie - don't you believe it.
if you're fine then you're fine - it's all how you see it.
oh, there never will be no conspiracy of happiness.

I'm on a high I'm on a high
and there's nothing more to it
I have the sun, it's a star
why should I refuse it

and there are so many reasons I could give you why I should be down
there's not enough money or time and my love you're not around
around, around

but it's a lie it's a lie - don't you believe it.
if you're fine then you're fine - it's all how you see it.
oh, there never will be no conspiracy of happiness.

you're alive you're alive - how else could you hear me?
you are fine, you are fine - there's nothing worth fearing
'cause there never will be no conspiracy of happiness

I'm on a high, on a high
we are the sea and the sky
I'm on a high, on a high
I'm on a high

It's a lie, It's a lie don't you believe it
'Cause I've tried and I've tried, and I can't really see it
Yeah, I'm trapped inside my conspiracy of happiness
said I was yours, you were mine but I didn't really mean it
and I lied and I lied
and I wish you hadn't seen it
'cause I'm trapped inside my conspiracy of happiness
I'm on a high, on a high, there's nothing more to it, yeah.


I so agree with this song...

Star Wars, Sobered Up

Movie Review (2nd attempt)
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
Directed by George Lucas
Starring Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen, Ian McDiarmid

Okay, this time I'll do this review seriously.

GO AND WATCH THIS MOVIE!!

Sorry, can't help myself.

Making a review for this movie is like telling a journey. And to tell the journey, one must look from the beginning. Which is what I'm about to do.

I still remember back in my early days when I was only 9 or 10. Whenever I saw a Star Wars movie I was confused, trying hard to understand the story. But all I know is that the special effects were great for their time. Later I would watch and re-watch the movies again (episode IV, V, and VI), trying to appreciate the special effect, the storyline, the characters, the acting. I've watched the re-released episode IV, V, and VI (with the updated special effects in several scenes). And having a close circle of friends who adore Star Wars, I couldn't help but to become quite a fan myself. Not a fanatic, but I know enough to appreciate why some people become fanatics. I read novels and played games which background rest in the Star Wars universe. Star Wars has become one of the things me and my close circle of friends talk about. It's become part of our culture, our values, our language. And yes, of course we make jokes of Darth Vader breathing noise.

Back then, in the original trilogy, the acting was quite good, but what really stand out were the special effects.Nowadays, special effects are something common in movies. With the advent of high-quality CGI, even an actor's performance and appearance on screen can be manipulated with highly-detailed computer imageries, making these artificial addition lifelike and believable. CGI's in, it's trendy, and almost wannabe blockbuster movie makers want it in their movies. It's as if people in the film industry is beginning to forget that the story and acting are what matters most.

I was excited when I heard that Episode I was coming out. It was quite an event, knowing that Lucas was trying to bring back the magic that is Star Wars, trying to bring the original trilogy to a completion by telling the story of how it all began. I was full of anticipation, and after watching Phantom Menace, all I could say is that it was okay. The CGI was of today's standard, which was quite good, but I felt that the story was geared toward a younger audience. And the acting was, well, almost non-existent. But it was good to see the little kid, the one who's eventually become one of the most unforgettable character, a character that in my opinion symbolizes man's never ending struggle with 'good and evil', man's fall from grace. As Yoda said himself, 'Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering.' And so, the tale began.

Episode I was quite a disappointment to many people. Some even didn't want to admit that it ever happened, that somehow it was only a nightmare, that the first trilogy still exists but somehow Lucas' take on Episode I was only a mist soon to be blown by the wind. I myself was stuck in a love-hate relationship with the first episode. But I know that the story has got to be told, how the seed of 'good and evil' was planted into a child full of potential. It was a beginning, a bad-acted, poorly-directed one, but it was a beginning.

Episode II was better. Not by much, but it was better. Better in CGI and a little better in the story department. However, the acting was still quite non-existent. The romance between Anakin and Padme was badly acted, and that Jar-Jar character was still around (though he didn't say much). However, Ian McDiarmid, playing as Chancellor Palpatine, provided some quality acting. Well, the story must go on, and at least we got to see Yoda kick some ass.

Now comes Episode III. It turns out that in my current office, there are lots of Star Wars fans, and we couldn't help but get ourselves some tickets for the day the movie was released worldwide on May 19th. Many people here were excited during the wait before the cinema door was opened. Some of them even wore Jedi robe and carry glowing lightsabers in their hands. Me and a friend couldn't help but became very jealous of one guy wearing a Jedi robe carrying the best looking lightsaber in the crowd. We even plotted to take him out and grab his lightsaber after the movie. Take that, Jedi!

I've become excited again...breath in, breath out...

Episode III is way better than the previous two. In everything: CGI, story, and acting. CGI still manage to take the breath out of the audience, especially during the first space battle scene. I will not deliberate in the CGI department, since knowing that Lucas is behind all this, its quality is unquestionable. But what will really stands out is the process of how Anakin Skywalker turns to the Dark Side of the Force. This movie is all about the how and why a man falls from grace. And it is told in grace. And finally, some real and believable acting. Ian McDiarmid once again delivers a graceful acting, playing the two-faced Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, relentless in his effort to lure the young Anakin to the Dark Side and conquering th whole galaxy. Ewan McGregor also put out quite a performance. His character has matured significantly from the young Obi-Wan in Episode I. Even Hayden Christensen managed to put out a decent acting himself, after having been criticized for his poor acting during Episode II. And the romance between him and Padme, played by Natalie Portman, is more believable and better-acted than Episode II. And all this, the CGI, the acting, have managed to bring the story to life.

But once again, Episode III is all about how and why a man turns to the dark side. And this Episode is the culmination, the conclusion of the journey from Episode I and II. No matter how bad they are, Episode III is meaningless without Episode I and II. Just consider Episode I and II sacrificial lambs to make this third episode a winner.

The movie ends with a question of hope. A question that most of us know the answer to. But it is still enough to make me want to take a look at the answer again. George Lucas has bring back the magic of the galaxy opera. No matter what, Star Wars has become a legend and people will still talk about it for years to come.

And I will still make more jokes about Darth Vader's breathing noise.

Excited About Star Wars

Movie Review
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
Director: George Lucas
Hayden Christensen, Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman

I'm still in awe after watching the third episode of this epic galaxy opera. For Star Wars fans of course it's obvious how things will eventually turn out. But it's the why and the process that matters, and in this department the movie delivers.

I am at a lost for words in trying to describe this movie. And this review will be a short one. All I could say is that go and watch this movie. Don't even hesitate for once. Don't even think twice.

All I could say is that there's a lot of special effects in this movie. And for once, the acting is quite good.

Great movie.

And this is, by far, the dumbest and shortest movie review I've ever written...

And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pick up my jaw from the floor.

Four Desperate Japanese Housewives

Book Review
Out
by Natsuo Kirino

4 women work night shift in a boxed-lunch factory located in a fringe area in Tokyo. Masako Katori is a house wife with 'damaged' relationships between her and her husband and son. Yoshie Azuma, or 'Skipper' (her factory nickname) has to take care of her dying, aggravating mother-in-law and manage her rebellious daughters. Yayoi Yamamoto is having difficulties with her husband who starts to gamble and fool with other women. Kuniko Jonouchi is a superficial woman who identifies herself with the things she wears and thus ends up in a lot of debt. Four of them meet and work as a team on the production floor of the factory.

It is obvious that their conditions are desperate. All resent the realities of life they're living, and wanted to escape. Things get worse when Yayoi kills her husband and asked the others to help her get rid of the body. Masako, the toughest of the 4, agreed to help. She asked Yoshie and Kuniko to help her cut off the body into smaller, managable bits. This litte 'venture' of theirs will get them tangled in more intrigues. Yoshie and Kuniko with their desperate need of money (albeit for different reasons) and Masako finding that to her, the whole body disposal is a form of an escape from her dreary day-to-day existence.

Natsuo Kirino, a renowned crime novellist, delivers an exotic crime thriller centered around characters who have lost their faiths in their own lives. From the storyline point of view, readers will not find anything new. The story progresses in a linear fashion, with few flashbacks. Characters are not described in very fine details, but they are quite believable. What will keep the readers going will be Masako (and another character I will not mention here due to the spoiler potential), what's her story, and how she will end up by the end of the novel.

This is one interesting novel. It will keep readers at the edge of their seats with its story. Nothing groundbreaking, but it provides a certain entertainment for a few days (depending on how fast you read). Quite recommended.

Looking Back

Yesterday I was thinking that maybe it was a good idea to try and update my blog in friendster. I wouldn't exactly put anything new in it, just some choice writings from my other two blogs from blogspot. It was for some sort of narcissistic reasons, I think.

As I went through my old entries I was quite taken aback by my old entries. Back then I put too many emphasize on details. Maybe I was just trying to hold on to my memories. Scared of losing them into the obscurity of the past. Thinking that memories were the things that defined who I was, I tried holding on to them.

Not anymore.

Looking back, I noticed that I was a different person back then. Looking at the present, I realized how one year of time could change a person so much. Maybe I'm not scared anymore of losing myself. Maybe I don't define myself from my memories anymore. Maybe I don't feel the need to define myself anymore.

I guess right now I'm just in the mood for celebrating life. Celebrating change. One year seemed quite short, but it's amazing how many things have changed since then.

(I wonder whether I've made a similar entry before...some things just don't change I guess...)

It doesn't matter. This is a different entry at least from the time-of-entry point of view.

Upside Down

Lilo and Stitch was playing when I went out and left two of my friends at the villa. I felt like I needed another walk. It was a fine day. A bit cloudy and there was a hint of rain in the air, but rays of sunshine still managed to slip pass the clouds high above in the sky. The air was cool, and only a light afternoon breeze was stirring in the air. It felt as if nature herself was beckoning me to go out and enjoy the weather and the view.

I put on my jogging shoes and walked down the front veranda of my friend's villa. I opened the wooden gate and started walking down the narrow asphalt road. Trees of many different kinds adorned the view around me. The theme was green, and it was a different kind of green. Different from the usual green you'd find on trees in cities. It was a 'healthier', more peaceful kind of green. I have always loved the view there around my friend's villa. It has a certain peaceful quality to it.

I walked toward a small hill not far from the villa. The asphalt road was narrow and winding. You could see the hill from the veranda of the villa. As I was walking, my mind was filled with the many thoughts, thoughts about my life and what I was doing with it, and what I would do with it in the future. Thoughts about the past, both pleasant and unpleasant.

I usually have my digital camera with me, to take pictures of the beautiful views. However, due to the minimal available space left in it, I decided otherwise. In any case, I had taken many shots during previous visits. Taking more would make no difference. And, as I was walking, I realized that there was always an urge within to show these pictures to other people, to let them know how beautiful the place was. However, it also dawned on me that it wouldn't be the same as enjoying the view together with someone right there and then. It was a quiet and silent day, and the silence only amplified my loneliness even more. Not even the immortalized view of the mountains could cure my loneliness. No, there was no use in bringing a camera. That day, I was loneliness itself.

To go up the hill one must went through a broken-down fence. There was a narrow dirt road on one side of the hill, with stones lodged in it serving as steps going up the hill. On some days there were people on top of the hill, kids playing with kites, running around on the level field on top of the hill or teenagers, just sitting down on the grass and enjoying the view. That day though, I was alone.

From the top of the hill, you could have quite a clear view of the villa and also a beautiful view of the surrounding vista. I spotted my friend at the veranda and I waved my hand at her. She also saw me, and waved back. I thought I saw her took a picture of me with her camera. After she went inside I sat down on the grass, drinking in and enjoying the view of the green landscape and the mountains in the distant.

After spending some time admiring the serene view, I laid down on the grass with my hands on the back of my head and my eyes looking, staring, at the clouds above...



...or below. It was a strange sensation, but a strange thought came into my mind. It was as if the ground was up and the clouds were below. It felt as if at anytime, I could fall down from the ground into the clouds. If felt as if, anytime, gravity could reverse itself and I would start falling down into the clouds, falling down into the unknown, falling down into infinity. I would keep falling, with no end in sight. I would keep falling, without any certainty of when it would end. I would keep falling into the clouds.

I started thinking, what is up, and what is down? Does the Almighty know of such concept? What was it like, being alone somewhere out there, without knowing the concept of up and down? What was it like, to exist without knowing any certainty where to go up and where to fall down, a concept that is so prevalent yet ignored in our daily lives? What was it like, to transcend the boundaries of space, and of time?

At that time, I felt the enormity, the vastness, of the universe. And I couldn't bear the burden, the weight, even if it was only in my mind. I tried standing up, and I felt scared. I felt scared, and alone.

I'd never felt fear like that in all my life.
I was never so scared.
I'd never felt loneliness like that in all my life.
I was never so alone.

My whole body felt weak, and I had trouble standing up straight. It felt as if I bore all the burden of the universe on my shoulders.

As I regained my composure, I tried looking up again. Standing. I still felt the fear. I still felt the weakness in every parts of my body. So I tried rooting down myself to the present 'reality'. I tried rooting down myself to the 'fact' that the ground was down beneath my feet and the sky and the clouds were up above my head. And as I tried doing so, I thought that maybe God is the loneliest being in the world.

In retrospect, I think that during that short moment, I had a glimpse of God's role as the creator. It felt quite difficult, that role. The burden of it was so hard. And the loneliness, unbearable. The thought saddened me.

I sat down again on the grassy hill, trying to enjoy the beautiful view again and, steeling myself, glanced up at the sky and the clouds now and then. Slowly, I felt as if I was one with nature. After some time I felt nature going silent, the birds and the crickets stopped singing, and there was only a light breeze in the air. Maybe it was my imagination, but I felt as if nature was whispering to me, urging me that it was time for me to return to the villa. Maybe it was in the dampness of the breeze that I sensed rain was coming.

I stood up and walked back to the villa. Rain came not long after I got back.

Wine-Tasting Journey Gone Rather Awry

Movie Review
Sideways
Paul Giamatti, Thomas Haden Church
Directed by: Alexander Payne
Based on a novel by: Rex Pickett

Two old college roomies, Miles (Paul Giamatti) and Jack (Thomas Haden Church) embark on a wine-tasting journey through Northern California. At least, that is how Miles sees it. To Jack however, who's about to embark on a journey himself down the aisle right after the journey, sees this journey as an opportunity of getting his room mate Miles laid, and get himself his own version of 'tasting'. During the journey, both have to face their own personal demons. Miles having to face again the memories of his ex-wife, and Jack having to face his fears about the upcoming nuptial.

This movie is about character building, right from the start until the end of the movie. Miles with his stiff and demanding personality, who is quite disappointed at the world and at himself (as a result for being too hard on himself). And Jack with his happy-go-lucky personality, who gets both of them in various mess during the course of the story. This movie is not about fancy, outlandish story. It's about two people, with all their beauty and ugliness. It's about two people facing middle age. It's about two people having to confront their own not-so-miserable existence. So, I'm just saying that this movie's about two middle-age losers. This movie dwells deep into both people's characters and laid them bare for the audience to see.

Director Alexander Payne has successfully delivered a comedy movie with a very sober theme, yet still be entertaining enough that those who watch it won't feel depressed. At least, that is how I see it. And for those who are into wine tasting, they might find this movie a little bit more 'rich' in 'taste'. Unfortunately, such is not the case with me. Regardless, I should think that the movie will still be entertaining enough for those who are not familiar with wine-tasting. Because that's not the point of the movie.

A very recommended movie for those looking for a 'different taste' of comedy, a comedy that is very grounded in reality.

I want...(not in any particular order)

...to start working on my Master Grade Wing Gundam Zero Custom Kit,

...to be able to come up with some fictitious topic so I could start writing a book,

...to be in a play,

...to be a news anchor,

...to be an oscar-winning actor,

...tomorrow to be a holiday,

...to sleep all day (without the guilt, please),

...to have a small cottage somewhere in Swiss with a view of the mountains (like the ones you would find in a cheap giveaway calender credit company usually send you, thanking you for choosing them to be your loan shark),

...to buy an airbrush set, complete with the 'gun' and the air compressor (so I could paint my Master Grade Wing Gundam Zero Custom Kit),

...to have a heart-to-heart talk with my old maid, who's been with us since I wasn't even born, who's right now dying of cancer (without her knowing it, my mom decided not to tell her yet since she's afraid that she would go suicidal). On second thought, having a heart-to-heart talk might give that away, so for now I just treat her like usual, a bit gentler though. People might think I'm cruel for giving up hope so early (since she's very much alive for now), but it's cancer, and it's bound to get you thinking. Well, treating her as usual might be the best thing to do for now,

...to go jogging,

...to have a body-builder's body (with the hard work, mind you, it's the hard work that can hook you up, it's an addiction). Too bad that I just don't have the time,

...the corporate world to just crumble down to dust,

...to go bungee jump,

...to go to Bali (believe it or not, I've never been there in all my life...well, I've been there once but only for 2 hours and it was already night there, didn't see any naked tourists ha ha ha),

...to have a conversation with Buddha,

...to have a conversation with Jesus,

...to have a conversation with Muhammad,

...to lay down on a field of green grass, looking at the mountains while an eagle soar in the blue sky above, and say to myself, "'Tis a beautiful life."

...to have a walk around my friend's villa in Puncak and enjoy the beautiful green sceneries around me,

...to run, just run, like wild horses, like the wind,

...to fly, just fly, like the eagles in the sky, looking down on mountains,

...to go to the beach, enjoying the view of the vast expanse of the sea (something that I will do when I'm in Bali),

...to be a popular singer,

...to have a father I can depend on,

...my mom to stop worrying about me,

...my mom to stop projecting her life on me,

...myself to stop thinking about my mom and start thinking about my own life,

...to watch the movie 'Sin City',

...to watch the movie 'Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter...and Spring',

...for my fathers to find whatever they're looking for in their life, and find peace,

...for my mom to find whatever she's looking for in her life, and find peace,

...for my brother to be happy (come to think of it, maybe he's happier than me...),

...to fly away to a different reality,

...to stand at the top of the highest building in Jakarta and take a picture of the city down below,

...to go hiking in the mountains,

...to find the courage to fall in love again.