Silly Me...

I just realized that blogspot provides many formatting options. And since I've never posted pictures before, I think I'll try posting pictures in this entry. Along with the story of how those pictures came about. So...here we go!

A flower

Simple, isn't it? It's a flower. Nuff said. But the reason why I posted this particular photo is that I took this picture using the close-up mode of my digital camera. The result is more than average for a digital camera. Of course the real quality of the photo is not shown here, since it's been resized, but when shown in full...it's really beautiful. I really like this particular photo.

Ancient Cupboard

This old cupboard resides in my friend's villa. The photo is not exactly good in terms of aesthetic, but I took this picture just because I want to show an ancient cupboard. Not exactly a good picture, but for some reasons I really like it.

Ancient Walls

During my trek along the dirt path, I chanced upon these two walls. I do not know what building these plantation-covered walls were once part off, but I noticed the strange aura they gave off so I took a picture of it.

Flowers on Trees

I really like this picture, it would be near perfect only if I didn't forget to omit the man in the bottom-center of the photo. The lighting was beautiful. I took this picture lying down on a huge rock in the middle of a river. Oh well, nothing's perfect I guess.

Into the Unknown

Everytime I went on my hiking trek around my friend's villa, I would come across this path. I would stand in front of it thinking whether or not I should go through it. The path was always deserted and silent. It gave off a dreary aura. In other words, it's creepy. But for some reason, I always went through it. And I never quite remember the turns I've made whenever going through that path.

The Lantern

My friend and I agreed that this old lantern reminded us of the lantern in the movie Sleepy Hollow. Put a candle inside the lantern, bring it into a dark room, and the light it casts on the wall will be in the shape of the holes on the lantern. Twist the lantern around and the light will play around the walls of the room.

More pictures to come later...

It's Gonna Rain

Yeah,

I'm back in Cibogo and it's gonna rain. And yes, I'm still giving more training. I'll be staying till Tuesday and when the last session is done I'll be heading back for Jakarta. For some reason I'm losing steam today. By noon I was losing my voice and my will to continue the lessons. My class was running faster than I was. They were trying exercises that I hadn't even get to explain yet. But no matter, I like proactive students. I just had to make sure that we would still have a couple of exercises for the next day. If they finished all the exercises, there would be no more material for to go over during the last day.

Giving training here in Cibogo has given me quite a beneficial distraction from the every day routine. No families, no friends, and no traffic whatsoever. The only one thing that is lacking is no girlfriend. At least I get to go home during weekends.

Ever since coming here, there were things that I left behind in Jakarta, emotional baggages...but I don't know whether I should think of them as emotional baggages. I'm not sure. Well, let me try to list them:

1. The death of an aunt of my stepfather, and
2. My real father getting married again and changing his religion

The circumstances surrounding the death of my aunt is not...common. I mean, it was a natural death, but a supposedly preventable one or one that could be delayed for quite some time. This is the heart of the matter. But I am reluctant to divulge the matter further since I am not keen in opening up family matters that does not relate directly to me. What is bothering me is that I didn't want to know more. I didn't care. I know this is my stepfather's sister, but he is the one with whom I spent my time growing up. Not perfect, but he's my father. But, I couldn't let myself care more. I didn't ask him how he felt.

Okay, okay, I know guys don't ask one another about how they feel. Us from the male species are not accustomed to this. But still...

If you ask me whether I was close to this auntie, well the answer is no. I'm just scared that I'm losing my caring self. It could be bad, it could be good. Maybe that means that I won't be such a hypocrite anymore. But I don't know.

But maybe, by musing about this in my blog, maybe I do care. At least I spent some effort in trying to put my feelings into words. At least I was thinking about it when I was writing this. Or maybe I was just looking for things to write about.

I'm so bad...

About my real father getting married again...this will be his third marriage. My real father left my mother when I was barely even 1 year old. I didn't even know he existed (although I had my suspicion) until I was 21. If he hadn't tried contacting me, maybe I would have gone on not knowing anything about him. But that's a story for another time...

So, yes, my real father's getting married again. And he's changing his religion. So, right now he's got a son (me) and a daughter (my stepsister from his second marriage). Seems like he's about to score one again. The woman he's marrying is only about 3 or 4 years older than I am. And she's tall. Not exactly that pretty, but okay.

The thing is that, I couldn't even care less. Maybe I do care a bit, but the guy's never there for me since I was only a wee lad. A baby. He was just another stranger that suddenly became a part of my life. A small part, at least for now.

And still I couldn't care less. I'm just afraid that I'm becoming numb. Very numb. I hope it's just because I'm tired. Or maybe I don't have to make such a big deal out of these things. Or should I?

So, yeah, by the time I got to this point of my writing, it was still raining outside. The smell of wet grass and wet earth mingled, giving off a fresh aroma.

Maybe I just have to enjoy my time here. Before I come back.

While I still can.

Teaching

Yes, teaching.

The company sent me on a (slightly) out of town assignment of giving a software training to a group of users. They might have made a bad decision.

Regardless, I've been enjoying it so far. The first day I was stiff. Too formal, not loose enough. Second day was quite a breeze. Beginning to familiarize myself with the participants. The third day, I went a bit too fast. But still, it's kind of nice to be able to teach again.

I started to like teaching and presenting ever since that fateful day in college when I had to present during one of the class. At first, it was frightening having people's eyes looking intently at you. But it was addictive, having people's attention on you.

I started liking teaching more during the days when I was going through my master's degree program. There were times when friends asked me to teach them. They said I was good in explaining, and it was kind of uplifting when they have that "I got it!" expressions on their faces.

Satisfying.

So, it's been enjoyable so far. Except for a couple of minor things (and ONE MAJOR ISSUE), it's been quite an entertaining and fulfilling experience.

I'm such a narcist.

Saturday Night

So, here I am in one of Jakarta’s many popular mal. Got off from work on a Saturday night, I feel like there’s nothing better for me to do but to go here and treat myself to a LARGE cup of Dairy Queen’s Peanut Buster Parfait (should I put a trademark sign after this? It’s just a thought). It may not be the best ice cream in the world, but I’d been wanting to get myself one for quite some time.

Work’s been tough lately. With the deadline getting ever nearer, the tasks have become harder and more tedious. Lots of things to be done, lots of things to be fixed. But that’s work. There will always be more of ‘em. Just when you think that it’s over, comes your colleague/supervisor asking you to do more work. More issues and stuff, y’know?

But, damn, that’s not the point though. I’m just chillin’ here, having some ME time (yeah, thanks for the term, Ven, it seems that I’ll be using that more often now ha ha ha). And I should declare right now before it’s too late that this entry is probably the worst I’ve ever made. With the DJ right across from the table and the music blaring in my ears, it’s kinda hard to concentrate. But it’s not everyday that you could pull out your laptop and start typing away in the middle of a mal (even though it’s company’s laptop but, still, people don’t know that). And you guys probably have guess that since there’s no wi-fi around here, this entry must’ve been posted later after this…event.

Oh well, so I’m just to y’all, that after a hard day’s work (and on a weekend to boot), it’s just nice to reward myself with a LARGE cup of ice cream and just chillin’.

Oh my God, this entry sucks. Big time. Oh well… I just wanna write, and I don’t care if it suck….

(P. S: Got a bad case of diarrhea and fever the day after, thanks to Dairy Queens’ Peanut Buster Parfait. But at least I didn’t have to go to work he he he).

Puncak Visit, Again

I spent 4 hours and a half letting myself got lost among the winding roads and dirt tracks around my friend’s villa in Puncak. It has been awhile indeed since my last visit. And a lot has changed since then. There were now more asphalt roads. New houses were built. Fences were erected. New gates built and closed. Hence thus familiar shortcuts lost.

Luckily, not all of them are lost. And so I found myself hiking along familiar dirt tracks. I had to retrace my steps a couple of times since now there were more fences closing off access to the aforementioned shortcuts, but I knew other ways. I tried paths that I had not taken during my previous visit and found more shortcuts. It was a good thing I didn’t get lost among the woods. It would be hard indeed to find my way back if I did. And I was a long way off from my friend’s comfortable villa.

As always, the sceneries are magnificent. I had brought along with me a digital camera capable of storing 256 MB worth of pictures. But no matter how many pictures I’d taken, they will never be able to explain the depth of beauty these sceneries had. One should be here to be able to understand it.

I climbed to the highest ground of a nearby hill and as always, I found myself taken aback by the loudness of the silence. It was so quiet and lonely up there in the hills. I’d enjoyed the climb in my previous visit. But this time, I felt scared. I was scared of the loneliness, scared of being alone.

The view was magnificent. But the loneliness was piercing.

I was thinking of launching into philosophical musing about God and how lonely He probably was when He (or maybe She) created this world…but it’s too depressing. So I changed my mind.

I walked back to the villa exhausted. I missed a step or two along the way, courtesy of the slippery track (it rained the previous day). My clothing was dirty (courtesy of the missing of a step or two). Got sun-burned (it was a very hot day in Puncak, hotter than usual). It had been awhile since I got sun-burned. Not the kind of skin sensation I’d expect from a visit to Puncak.

The mood in the villa was not uplifting (my friends were nursing a cold). They all wore gloomy faces. It was kind of depressing. We were supposed to be cheerful. There was something amiss; I just couldn’t put my finger on it.

All in all, I’d visited the villa in better circumstances. But I’m still thankful nonetheless.